The word for me this week is sacrifice.
What is it? what does it mean? I heard a quote today "love has sacrifice, but there is nothing more worth it" in my nature i automatically feel like i never did enough, if i did at all. But its not fair to always be the only one at fault. Which in rebuttle i know he'd say "yep all me always me" it isnt all anyone, we both made our choices. I am sorry for mine.
Love, bg
When everything went well, i did it my own way. I left behind all my promises and all my new ideals and got back into the same place again. Will this be the last time, is this really what God wants for me. He isnt off his throne but i cannot ask him to fix this mess i made. Yet again.
Dear lobster.
It has been hard for me to continue writing. I'm trying not to focus on you and us. Out of respect of what you have said. So I just don't know what to say. Today we ran into eachother. Unexpectedly you gave me a ride and I couldn't express how much I appreciated it. I have been hurting of shin splints and wasn't looking forward to walking. It was awesome timing and I am so thankful.
Love you always. BG
Dear lobster,
My faith is strangthened. It has been a rough couple of days and I have questioned so much but at the end of the day I know. God is in control.
I have started to focus on him more this past week. Getting to know him and seeing what he has for me. Doesn't change how I feel about you I just know you are going through what your choosing to and to stew on it would only drive me in the jealous car to insane.
I think about you all day. You are very much in my heart. You will always be my heart.
Love you always. BG
Dear lobster,
There are often days when I just want to give up. Not because I don't love you but because it is hard. I will fail everyday, but I will continue to get up and try again. That is because I love you.
Always will.
BG
Dear lobster,
This much I know is true. Nothing you say or do is going to cause me not to love you or forgive you. You want to hurt me, I was hurt a long time ago, so the things you are doing are only hurting yourself. I feel freed, to be honest. Knowing exactly what you do helps me forgive exactly what you've done. I still feel like I don't know anything. I pray God gives me the strength to continue that until he fills me with what I should know. As for you, I love you. I also pray for you, really pray. Not some kind of save him from himself prayer but from my heart knowing you well.
I'll love you always. BG
Dear lobster,
I miss you. I feel so out of place and falling hard into the unknown. I miss your presents in my life.
BG
