Dear lobster.
I think about you all the time. I see your missing from our lives and it pains me. I never want to live this out again. I wrote you an email, in it I expressed awe and inspiration for all you've delt with. I meant every word, but to add id say this.
"...you came back to a changed wife." As a changed man. I cannot begin to understand some of the things you've endored. We could have handled each other with a bit more maturity. Thinking we could go back to what it was, is nieve. We can't change the past. We can only choose the present and make the future.
Sin is sin, please don't take anything I'm saying as some form of judgement. I have no bench to judge from. I sinned. I do believe god protected me from sleeping around. To keep at least that pure between us. But I did my part of adultery too.
The night I went out with a friend and got in the car with a drunk driver, there was a man who wanted me to go home with him. I was so drunk I don't remember him being apart of our night or where he came from. I gave him my sob story as I did and as sober as a nun he made sure I looked him in the eye as he explained "I'm not him" and right then I knew two things. I never wanted to go home with someone not you and id never drink again. I haven't since.
It feels nice when someone gives attention. Wants us or says things we want to hear. But in the end, I will never want anyone but you.
I have faith in you.
I am proud of you.
I'll love you always. BG <3
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